Leah's Trade for a Night with Jacob

Leah's son Rueben growing old enough to wonder found some Mandrakes. Mainframes our believed to help along being able to have children. Rachel seeing that Rueben had the Mandrakes asks her sister for them in trade of a night with Jacob. Showing us how Rachel was still able to persuade her husband to do her will. Showing us that Leah was still thought less of her husband and agreed to the situation to get time with him. I'm a way we see Leah response to Rachel saying, " Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? And would eat thou take away my son's mandrakes also? " The bitterness and still feeling unloved by her husband. Yes she was the first wife but Rachel still had his love. Seemingly hurt by the affection and love that Rachel still received. By the law of the land she was the head of the house and with the sons she has all ready neared she felt Rachel was still out of place and that Jacob still should be more by her side than her sister.
You can see the way that Leah still felt and the resentment she still have to her sister for Jacob loving her more. Leah's sorrow to be the first wife the older sister and still she was coming in second place feelings of being unloved still looked over her. She has given Jacob four sons all ready which She felt should have brought him towards her more. But yet Jacobs love still landed with her sister. The feelings of wanting to feel loved so bad that each of us grab at crumbs in our life in whatever situation we might be in. Securing our own sorrows. I'm life all we want like Leah must have wanted was sovereignty to be seen and feel the love of the man that she married. Yet she was the one that must have known the consequences when she agreed that he might not love her the way he loved her sister. He asked to marry her after a seven year trade yet she was the one in the morning that was found by him.
I'm your life is there some time that you wanted to feel soveriegnty from another? Food you ever get that feeling of being seen? Sometimes we look to see that God sees us and grasp at the crumbs that we are feeling from him! Yet if we give and open our hearts I bet we would see the way god sees us and realize that the sovereignty that he sees us with we would see our self in a different light.  Leah's sorrows brings about a contention in the family along with Rachel feeling like she is unable to give back in child bearing.
With Leah trading the night she goes on afterwards and bares two more sons and then she bares a daughter. Feelings of God giving her hire and that he had endowed her for the best that might come by the meaning of her son's names she is seeing her right as the first wife still in fact and that she is still over her sister. Yet she stole the right of her sister to be the first wife by taking it away in deceit to be Jacobs wife. She had to fight for love because all the love she got she felt was second to her sister.
What ways in our life can we feel like someone stole something from us the way that Leah did her sister? How can we make things better and realize the love that we might be shown is love in actuality and except that we each need love in different ways? How can we seek out our own soveriegnty? Lessons that we can learn we can still feel bitter and unloved in life unless we learn to love ourselves and forgive for the actions we have taken.